By Josh Hansen:
Evil Monkeys should die. They need to die. If I had an evil monkey like the one in that old Stephen King story, let me tell you how I would have taken care of the monkey. First off, when a monkey starts talking in my head and wanting me to play with it all the time, then well its time to go because that is just some evil shit looking to happen. I need to sleep you stupid monkey! So since you want to come into my life and interrupt it, well then, this is how I would’ve handled your dumb ass.
First, I would decapitate your primate head. I don’t like your stupid little yellow hat anyway. Then I would find a shotgun and blow you to pieces. Then I would make my parents take me to the bridge that crosses over the Mississippi River. I would have them stop at the top of the bridge and then I would throw your decapitated and blown up body over the bridge into the river. I’m sure even in this screwed up state you are in, in my head you would still be asking me to play with you and put you back together. I might even hear your symbols faintly. (What is that sound anyway? Chang-Chang-Chang.) Annoying. With a smile on my face as I throw you over and watch your remains float away towards the Gulf of Mexico, I would then get back in my car and give you the finger as we drive away. Game Over, Primate Bitch!!!